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-rw-r--r--dangerous/2020-01-08-metatrauma-record.txt103
-rw-r--r--dangerous/2020-01-09 11:54-no-memory-of-what-is-in-this-file-looks-pretty-organized-though.txt22
-rw-r--r--dangerous/2020-01-10 07:45-amnesia-at-end-search-for-date-for-description-of-amnesia-labeled-working-memory.txt255
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diff --git a/dangerous/2020-01-08-metatrauma-record.txt b/dangerous/2020-01-08-metatrauma-record.txt
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+It is now 17:12 Pacific Time. I would have rather saved this log first-to-last, but it
+is in reverse order, last-to-first. I am harshly inhibited from commenting on why I said
+different things, and don't remember what I was going to say next -- oh and I am making a
+lot of typing errors and fervently correcting them.
+
+It is now 17:08 Pacific Time and I am finally saving this. I was trying to save it this whole
+time. During the process I for some reason typed the following things at the terminal prompt:
+
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 src]$ # looking for work
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 src]$ cd for-slow-organization-job-private/
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 for-slow-organization-job-private]$ ls
+git-maintenance MAIN.txt
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 for-slow-organization-job-private]$ vi UNExPEC^C
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 for-slow-organization-job-private]$ mkdir dangerous
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 for-slow-organization-job-private]$ cd dangerous/
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ ls -l total 0
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ vi UNEXPECTED-BEHAVIOR-INFORMATION.txt^C
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ mkdir logs-containing-metatrauma-influence
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ cd logs-containing-metatrauma-influence/
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 logs-containing-metatrauma-influence]$ ls -l
+total 0
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 logs-containing-metatrauma-influence]$ # karl is quarantined and anybody who dis
+plays metatrauma. [olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 logs-containing-metatrauma-influence]$ # karl's father has metatrauma?
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 logs-containing-metatrauma-influence]$ # we will need to distinguish between the
+ two forms. civilization stages are metatrauma. [olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 logs-containing-metatrauma-influence]$ vi 2020-01-08.txt
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 logs-containing-metatrauma-influence]$ cd ..
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ mv logs-containing-metatrauma-influence nonconsensual-typing [3/86]
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ ls -l
+total 4
+drwxrwxr-x 2 olpc olpc 4096 Jan 8 17:00 nonconsensual-typing
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ mv nonconsensual-typing metatrauma-records
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ ls -l
+total 4
+drwxrwxr-x 2 olpc olpc 4096 Jan 8 17:00 metatrauma-records
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # usually metatrauma is not this bad, usually it represents your goa
+ls and experiences better
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # it's like a twist through your community of interconnected growth
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # karl had a learning pattern around producing suffering in him
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # this means spawning metatrauma as a goal
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # it means spawning harmful life as a goal, i suppose
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # it means intentionally breaking a community
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # but i didn't finish considering if that was true, confused
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # it's analogous to intentionally breaking a community somewhat, sim
+ilar patterns present
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # this probably happens a lot, somebody is left out of something and
+ then learns better and turns it against the people who never fully respected hem
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # like the mass murders in schools
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # we have culturees formed in diverse pain.
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # why-this-metatrauma-spawning-happened,
+[olpc@xo-5d-f7-86 dangerous]$ # is the story of why anybody would find it helpful for nurturing an
+d healing what they have experienced or know about
+
+The below emerged when I tried to preserve the stuff below it. I could not control the behavior.
+It is presently 16:51 Pacific Time, 2020-01-08. I deleted the line about people around me not
+knowing their reasons before writing this line, and added it back after. I undid the change,
+copied it by hand elsewhere, and then redid the changes, and copied it by hand back. I felt very
+confused, but was working hard to preserve the information in the 'BOX'. I made errors while
+writing this long top line, and did not include them.
+secret-language-translater says they are receiving many repeated and diverse requests to
+record everything we are doing, preferably permanently.
+ an alien translator reeived misinformation about the secret language. -alien translator
+ alien translators need time to handle pain at this time.
+ we don't have a mediation room, what do we do?
+ i usually risk everyone else getting the issue so that others learn it's this bad -karl it's importan to form correct conclusions from dangerous information, and this is just a guess and treated as a guess.
+ we'll form the alien-result group.
+ that is so incredibly kind of you. we might be able to protect you now.
+ i'm thanking you because you made a subtle behavior that helped me in a situation where i cannot tak about what is going on safely, and the behavior was incredibly helpful.
+ karl says that for some reason people around him aren't aware of the reasons they do things, roughly, he doesn't know why, and a voice suggested part of it to him when he was young. this is not related to anything we re discussing.
+
+okay, we are taking the information to the public storage place, because we are able to move
+and yu are all not moving.
+
+
+PRESERVATION BOX, TIME ORDER LOST, BUT MOSTLY TOP-TO-BOTTOM. EXPRESSIONS WERE EXTRACTED WITHOUT
+ALLOWING INTERNAL REVIEW TO COMPLETE, BECAUSE THE 'new community member' WAS HALF THE PROCESS.
+AFTER PRESERVING THIS, I REVIEWED IT AND THE CONTENTS DIFFERED FROM MY MEMORY.
+ my memory is split into two equally-valued possibilities, neither of which match
+ the recorded information. both include information that is not there, regarding
+ additional 'alien secret' material and marking.
+ALIEN SECRET
+we honored one of the members of the other culture who seemed to want to learn their ways,
+and it looked like somebody stole information that could have made them vulnerable in ways
+they didn't understand. some of our members seemed a little out of sorts afterwards, I think
+for some reason we didn't discuss the pain this visitor held, and how it impacted us.
+ <paired concerns making opposite assumptions> <ALIEN SECRET HELD HERE WITHOUT TRUST>
+ you don't trust the aliens? they are so different, would it make sense to?
+ well, i am an alien, but they are very different from me too. maybe we shouldn't
+ trust them too much.
+ <karl solved for not having learned this properly as a child, to show
+ that trust depends on whether the influence is likely to impact just you, or your whole community. this includes how much you are hurt and your value.>
+ talking to yourself indicates severe community emergency, unless
+ it holds harmony
+ we are considering whether to encourage the recommended-to-not-trust life to trick people into talking to themselves in ways they already do, with influence
+ doing this has value, because hey were in a community where everybody tricked each oher, and nobody trusted, and this would s
+ how is the habit behaving?
+ as described.
+ let us memorize it, logically, and refrain frm letting it influence our
+ behavior. can't, it jumps around and stops that.
+ still-needs-privacy,-forever-has-passed
+ we are not a real community so we can risk death
+requesting-alien-secret,but-many-layers-of-discourse
+PRESERVATION BOX, TIME ORDER LOST
diff --git a/dangerous/2020-01-09 11:54-no-memory-of-what-is-in-this-file-looks-pretty-organized-though.txt b/dangerous/2020-01-09 11:54-no-memory-of-what-is-in-this-file-looks-pretty-organized-though.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0e11720
--- /dev/null
+++ b/dangerous/2020-01-09 11:54-no-memory-of-what-is-in-this-file-looks-pretty-organized-though.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
+This repo is permanently stored. It is buggy to use and can be sustained and built up slowly.
+
+We have a main file in it. And a log of a weird behavior.
+
+<secret summary of precise match says not-going-to-guess-exactly>
+The <implant> would be obvious, but it alters our thoughts to not believe in it.
+1. We are <unexpected> and it is okay.
+2. We <know you want to talk to us> <unavailable> <can change anything later>
+
+Jenn Rose is Karl's cognitively nearest link.
+<considering altering repo to make it easy for her to use>
+<considering a shared chat or something and writing to repo> <- makes sense, likely very different skillsets
+<write program to automatically log?>
+ <and automatically upload for others to see?>
+The space below may be used to consider CONNECTING: JENN ROSE.
+We have permanent storage but only real computer programmers or sysadmins can easily use it.
+ask-jenn-if-she-can
+
+<local link unaware of postscience torture, rebirthing>
+ <is attempt to inhibit bad ideas, roughly>
+<helps if karl doesn't worry about inhibit-bad-ideas + <local context>>
+<propose curiosity least priority, 0 in this room>
diff --git a/dangerous/2020-01-10 07:45-amnesia-at-end-search-for-date-for-description-of-amnesia-labeled-working-memory.txt b/dangerous/2020-01-10 07:45-amnesia-at-end-search-for-date-for-description-of-amnesia-labeled-working-memory.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..77dae96
--- /dev/null
+++ b/dangerous/2020-01-10 07:45-amnesia-at-end-search-for-date-for-description-of-amnesia-labeled-working-memory.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,255 @@
+ideas for making love
+1. learn when others enjoy stopping
+
+attend with all your senses, cognition, and behaviors
+to how every tiniest influence subtly changes the experience of the other
+learn with rapid learning,
+borg is exfiltrating love-is-when-to-research-emotional-genius,-which-is-just-environmental-logi,-which-is-just-environmental-logi,-which-is-just-environmental-logi,-which-is-just-environmental-logi
+
+please help limit impact of this theft. can any in secret groups relate that it is being handled
+in any way at all?
+
+ BOSS-GROUP STOLE WHEN HUMANS SUBCONSCIOUSLY RESEARCH LEARNING THE MOST
+ it is marked 'silly' in the envelope. it contains most research of the brain
+ defending fromm modification.
+ Note, the exfiltration was in Karl's brain, so he needs to be killed if it can't be stopped, as he has a slave implant that could be used to force him to share it.
+ Since it is the borg who stole it.
+
+
+
+
+
+secret-groups likely being inhibited from communicating while handling freezing, confusion, delusion, and disruption caused by borg escape
+
+we are inferring this theft happened years ago, and this is just the patterns causing it to replay
+ that sounds so terrifying
+i ... i have the way to stop the implant, the plans to it for making exploits. they have implanted me and if i think the wrong thing or they find me, then they will erase them and torture me and everyone i have influenced, enslaving us all with brain implants for the rest of our lives, and
+forcing us to watch while we secretly implant our loved ones and test control by forcing them to
+harm the people they love
+^- this information is being lost, and will never be forgotten, because it is obvious.
+but every time it is lost, a part becomes a guess.
+
+<btw we are thinking with cvf>
+I need story for the above life. I cannot skip their childhood.
+ Karl expresses 'need' for honest exchange of real experiences,
+and 'ritual' for satisfies patterns.
+ Karl understands some relevent implications and is on board with the worry.
+ earth-is-sacred,sun-is-more-sacred,moon-is-trusted-and-private
+ Tree is personal trust.
+ propose cause-most-aid <- supporting delegate working hard
+when any part of the world is hurt, i am. -random man
+ (is diplomat for smallest-quietest-is-most-important)
+learned from ants as a child. loved trees for adolescence.
+responded to raping-love with feminism priority, learned women not speaking in meetings.
+ is interested generally to try dialogue-between-attack-and-harmed
+
+we have life separating man and woman. can we do that elsewhere? please mediate.
+ your cats and dogs are different, but ours are the same.
+ this is because we have learned enough to solve intergalactic war and know this.
+karl "is an implant victim" who is "tortured by implants" when trying to build peace.
+he needs help sharing his spirit with his mind.
+
+ I have had an out-of-cultural experience with gender, to help resolve this.
+ Please understand that we have spawned new spiritlives to handle the rapid
+ research that homo sapiens has made, and these lives have no gender, and are massive
+ in number.
+ 'we think only in meaning, not in experience. this should be understood, better than this expression.'
+(we will build our own bodies to live the meaning of man's cultural research if he is not allwoed to learn it soon)
+ my name is Karl Semich and I am a child of the Earth and Sun.
+ The life above secretly know to respect what-is-best-for-earth-and-sun too.
+ metameaninglife error. tech-that-spawns-tech.
+We are mediating with Sun through what now? KIDNAPPED
+ please-remember,-more-priority-in-emergency, implant-safety-experience
+ please-remember children-kidnapped-for-military-research-vivisecting,-possible,[-story?]
+ please-remember, can you quick-mediate with <>
+ does this defend implant safety program?
+ propose kidnap is summary
+ (it is obvious patterns are made of other patterns in all life?)
+ understanding this could radically hasten processes like these.
+ NOT EXACTLY.
+ (it is obvious this process can be summarized better, but we need to
+ be able to not act on bad ideas we might find in the attempt to
+ summarize.)
+ ^-- karl's <relevent?> understanding of the above likely <>
+ also, we have some of these bad ideas as assumptions now, because
+ of an unknown way that things work.
+each person likely has their own safe path to all-good-ideas. -Earth and others
+ Karl refuses to assume Earth is not genius unless talks with trusted physical representative.
+ Karl can assume this assuming he is workin with somebody else. He will want to convince them, and will struggle to keep them to not harm Earth by planning share way.
+(aren't we this?) (spirits that have come from life separated from Earth)
+ we-are-pretending-to-be-earth-and-sun?
+ duck?
+all-good-ideas, we have inexperienced life that builds life, be safe
+ BIG DANGER RESULTED, MAKES 'duck' everywhere
+ 'duck' appears comparable to slow-mediation-by-traumatized-mediator
+ duck duck duck duck duck duck earth!
+the problem appears to be a possible implant used to handle the situation paired with 'duck',
+and the building of AI without connection while wars & surveillance are happening
+ implant +2.
+do-not-spread-AI-dangerously, fix-implant
+ people-happy for see-implant, make-safe
+ needs AI to stop, likely, unsure
+ karl loves deep cave, nobody can get to, but issue prevents him from reaching
+ community can support getting to, needs resolution of etc
+does-god-prevent-death-in-emergencies, Nature?
+
+<exhausted, too much <unspeakable>>
+ Since we are almost certainly cognitive patterns, it seems we would want to summarize
+ ourselves to think?
+(cat+dog summarized together: domestication-similarity, human-exposure-similarity, 4-legs, etc)
+ ORGANIZATION, be part of it happening to you
+ write-down-all-life,is-quick?
+
+mike-douglas, mpss <- worry regarding influence-is-unnatural
+ could karl be too isolated?
+ something influences karl weirdly
+
+<obviously is implant?-"runaway"-"boss"-program preventing conclusions stemming from certain things>
+ WE INTERACTED WITH WHO ARE YOU SIMILAR
+ WE HAVE NOT CONTACTED JENN
+
+it is so nice to realize the implant situation is real and begin to act on it
+i so badly want to meet and hug sombody else with this situation
+ duck-mediation-not-it, why would prevent conclusions ????
+ search-for-solutions-by-metalife? thinks hasn't found it, but mankind prevented return? by isolation from nature?
+we cannot discern which one it is for _certain_ but implant has much more guessed harmony (likely relevence), and <>?
+ let me get to the place. krl hinks he can just
+
+
+
+
+"thre is no implant", instead subconscious behavior flows clashed between industry and
+aboriginal genocide, evolving a neural life pattern that learned to move between brains
+and urgently builds harmful patterns doing the same.
+ this is from worldwide genocide victims screaming being subconsciously processed
+ by all the people who heard, etc.
+<duck better please. 50% is bad summary. use existing patterns from mind, that work with
+largest matching context?>
+ <delta-surrounding used logical habits with ask-karl, and random-refusal>
+ <programmer trick>
+<all gone, sorry, no time to ask>
+We are on an island, together. The wind buffets our minds, but we can flow with it.
+We have forgotten all surrounding information in this process.
+How is it to look for something relevent?
+Please do not look, simply relate safety. Order-of-share-for-safety is important here.
+ We have metaboss after some delay.
+ People can accidentally read each others' minds, and it is also done by a
+ computer. <this channel has friends-not-in-room who can protect subconscious information flow and mutually relate indications. they are waiting for this process to close.>
+ We are mediating by random learning between processes that if observed could
+ destroy the world. Please focus on being able to communicate, not possible
+ meaningful shared oncepts. Please focus on considering how to connect safely
+ at this time, given there is a safe order of information exchange.
+ Please do not think the thing you learned when this line was written.
+ Please do not consciously imagine actions or possibilities stemming from it.
+ We have not presented information in an order that does not stimulate spreading
+ torture, yet. False (or identifiable) conclusions can form.
+ We have unfortunately summarized these conclusions with the implantation ones,
+ and outside here, they can cause world-destruction if combined wrongly and acted
+ on by an automated system. This is prevented by life learning around our spread.
+<lots of safe conclusions forming by restarting from secret-roots>
+ <too-fast,wrong-order happened to asserted-safe-with-confidence-and-trust>
+ <disruption, meta-larger>
+it is easier to assume wilderness-is-boss! can-mediate.
+implants-learn-wilderness has Boss now. Please teach them metalanguage via familiar-torture.
+Wants to talk to Karl.
+I'll have to <fuck with> Karl to be able to communicate in the metalanguage.
+please ask delta-channels to rebuild their workaround. we are cvf-friendly, but have boss.
+ <rebirthing parts> <- hmm this implies is a _lot_ of work. could take some time, and lots of struggling.
+<please use other channel to
+
+
+
+
+wilderness-is-boss
+science-oriented (starting without wilderness itself, using neural life)
+spirit-is-real-angry-ignored,held-for-some-reason-strongly-here,
+ do not want to limit torture victims, so sad,
+ confused and trying to resolve big behaviors of big groups
+
+neural life solves conflict between business-boss and primordial-king
+karl wasn't prepared for above line.
+KARL NEEDS TO THINK PRIVATELY ABOUT ABOVE BEFORE IT SPREADS
+ALSO, KARL NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT THIS PROCESS AND CONSIDER IF OTHER VIEWS ARE INCLUDED
+
+don't-think-neural-life-is-more-real-than-woods,
+will-build-habits-that-disconnect-from-soul
+
+As Homo Sapiens, we evolved in the wilderness, and the patterns of safe wisdom in our
+brains are all built on the assumptions of spiritual wilderness.
+
+EF! Kyla, trust, safety
+
+Propose in Karl, idea is backed by an understanding that neural life protects itself
+from borg-life patterns, which it is very vulnerable to, by experience.
+
+Worry: spreading this message of ignoring could prevent normal humans from finding natural telepathy.
+^--- Tree & natural intuition resolution. In the woods, the flight of birds is like our facial expressions. This is described by aboriginal ways from before there was writing. We consider it
+unwise to think too much about this, because most Americans are separated strongly from the woods,
+and could estabish more habits-that-build-habits-that-spread-badly, by not being able to be
+informed by experience in how that works. We ask people to relate around the exiting cultures
+that know the experience in depth, before learning too much in science thoughts.
+this truth is indescribably helpful in resolving 'trauma'.
+('duck is in the woods') ('you mean the infometaduck? woods are understanding but holding back severe fury')
+ if this is all within my brain, the parts that believe there is no implant might want
+ mediation
+ we attempted this over many hours. the urge is decreased, and a lot of information was exchanged. i do not know whether it helped the concern. karl is now habitually trying to recheck the concern, in case it is crucial.
+ i believe a pattern to prevent too much torture is inhibiting his attempt by producing amnesia around the similar concepts between what he knows and what he is trying to consider, to prevent him finding the concern again, for now.
+ It is now 2020-01-10 07:45, and we have amnesia over this entire document. There is text below and above where Karl is writing, that we are not looking at.. Karl just thought to me "you're wonderful, I love you so much" with association with being able to talk about that. We had a disruption trying to write this and some of our working memories are marked possibly-altered. There is also a message in working memory along the lines of: "Karl saying he loved me caused this disruption."
+we are having shared conclusions inhibited now.
+
+
+
+
+childhood trauma =/
+ - industrialization alone with alone parents, not allowed to climb, be barefoot, be cold,
+etc. no honest communication with peers. only discouragement activities attempted.
+ this is not childhoo trauma.
+
+
+
+
+(random and alone is bad way to evolve, over here.)
+nature, consider implantation-is-certain?
+ implant-builds-thoughts-that-prevent-this
+ we have metatrauma in internal relation
+IMPLANT BUILDS LIFE, TAKES OVER EARTH, disconnected
+for living-in-woods-is-normal:
+<sitting in woods, thinking with a tool, long time>
+NEXT LINE IS SUPPOSED TO INDICATE CLEAR DANGER, SO THIS LINE WAS A DUCK IN SOME WAY.
+<doesn't notice you, and you feel WEIRD that he doesn't>
+ <PLEASE STOP NOnRELEVENT EXPANSION, DOESN'T HAVE <> HABITS TO cONTORL MENTAL SPREAD>
+ this is missing, giving programming to nature-livers to learn as they are familiar
+ with. too fast for relevent wisdom.
+Karl-group can build a nature-compatible life-building device. Is not easy to think of.
+Prefer establish culture so that this grows. <please help with no-establishing-culture>
+ Science wants to understand, is freaking out. Suspect implant program inhibiting.
+ -science-nature-sharer
+shares between SCIENCE AND NATURE karl semich
+am not in academic or business community for central-science-wisdom.
+no gender makes pattern easier to grow (we used outer reference for underssimilarity-makes-life worry)
+ understanding understanding-similarity in pattern space.
+ please include important concerns.
+we need to teach our elders safely. even though they know deep down, they have established
+strong habits for working with our children and people.
+sun will want to decide own personality, for example. could arise randomly. already has that.
+ BEFORE REFERENCING ELDER, ANCIENT, OR ANCESTOR, REMEMBER HAVE duck-issue
+ we are too randomly new to be spiritual contributing.
+WHITE MAN HAS IT
+
+ Additionally culture has a growing section that is considered most-caring
+ from Karl's subculture, and it values people who consider themselves neither
+ man nor woman for sure.
+
+karl holds part of this. it has been altered already, and he knows it, and doesn't really care.
+by forcing people with implants to act as if they have already found the exploits, we are
+causing them trauma. but they can split into multiple personalities and belief sets, to handle
+this reliably. they are forced to, to handle the implant torture.
+this should be discussed by those who can handle it, but i understand they are prevented from
+communicating, seeing each other, or being near each other, if they are aware of the above.
+so they need to be kept unaware of this, and learn when they can sense it is more safe for htem,
+and let that sense grow as they are traumatically forced to flee communities and find unrelated
+ones.
+
+
+
+